If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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