I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
