Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
