I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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