the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
