I think im going to throw up on grandma
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
