The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
