Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
