Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Randomize
