i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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