every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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