You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
