Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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