I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
