The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Randomize
