He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
she told me i tasted like america
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Randomize
