we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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