shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize