I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just gift wrapped bread.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize