The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
