Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
