worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
