You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
