I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
