She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
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