Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
