...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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