i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i just made my gag reflex go away.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
