How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
