tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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