it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
