can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
