..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
