Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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