He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize