Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Pooping to opera.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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