I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
