i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
