he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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