Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize