Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
