All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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