a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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