We're like a lot better than the average bears
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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