we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
