he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
