Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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