Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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