i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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