My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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