I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
