I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
