Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
