Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
