Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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