if you like me you must not know who I am
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
