i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
