It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
