Pappa wants mamma naked
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Houston, we have a blender
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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