This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
