When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
