The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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