hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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