I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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