I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
