i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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