my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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